say what you need to say...pretty please

do yourself a favor (om...my dad is always saying that!) and say what you need to say. why is this even a issue, folks? shouldn't speaking what is on your mind be obvious and automatic? in my opinion, yes it should be a given, but there is more to it than just telling someone how you really feel or explaining to someone (who doesn't even care) why something they did or said bothers you. in fact, many psychologists would say that we are protecting ourselves from further harm by avoiding confrontation and failing to express our innermost thoughts & emotions. enough already! are you worried about being hurt because of the beliefs, values and ideals that you h0ld dear or are you scared of embarrassing yourself in front of your peers (many of who will never be more than a passerby)? i mean really. what is it going to take for you to let your spouse, lover, friend, parent, sibling, neighbor know exactly how you are doing (when he or she inevitably asks you that conversation starter)? don't get me wrong, this sort of trust and security is not easy; it actually is quite difficult to attain. but in order to reach this stage, you MUST start somewhere at sometime with someone, so you might as well begin NOW. so let's get practical. next time you are in a situation where someone asks you how are you, would you please treat your own well-being with the respect that you deserve? is that too much to ask? i do not think so. chin up, look 'em straight in the eyes and let 'em know. you'll be better for it.

we remember...we celebrate...we believe

"nine eleven." we have heard those two words repeated thousands of times over the past seven years and every time that date stirs up a number of emotions (fear, anger, sadness, hope) inside me. we have seen the pictures and heard the stories and tried to remember where we were and what we were doing at that moment on that infamous day. isn't it interesting how this event in human history has become a fulcrum by which we measure and refer and trace seemingly almost ever other event? what was a heinous and devastating attack on our nation (in which the precious lives of children, women and men were lost) has become a rallying point by which every American can interlock arms with his or her fellow neighbor and say in unison "never again." for some, september eleventh has become another fourth of july, as we are reminded and celebrate all the freedoms and liberties that our country has granted to its people. a reminder of the formidable and resilient American spirit that will respond to such a tragedy with nationalistic pride and action. for others though (least we forget), it is a reminder of the pain and anguish that they endure each day because their spouse, sibling, colleague or child is no longer with them. whatever your reason is for remembering and honoring those who lost their lives on september 11, 2001, please see to it that you say a special prayer for them and the us of a today. god bless humanity...

dear august, i hate to see you go...

august was another memorable month with some noteworthy transitions. i think the best way to present these events would be to countdown the minutes until it is officially SEPTEMBER.

10 - days that i got to spend at home in massachusetts with my parents and two younger sisters

9 - is the score i give to the cafeteria food here at John Carroll (it puts the menu @ PC to shame)

8 - the number of Olympic gold medals that Michael Phelps won this month in Bejing

7 - new Cleveland JVs and i've already been able to be a supportive fJV to them

6 - ty percent chance that veronica will move back to cleveland before the winter solstice

5 - different & oftentimes frustrating ways of getting around (rapid, RTA, walk, bike, carpool)

4 - month anniversary for Gisella and I (she is pretty special)

3 - lovely young women (allison, brigid & veronica) whom i had to say farewell to after living in intentional community and serving with them in Cleveland for the past eleven months

2 - places at once (still trying to balance my time spent in west & east cleveland)

1 - more day until graduate classes begin...

even though i loved you* (august), i welcome you** (september) with open arms...

to bike or not to bike?

that really is the only question for cyclists, isn't it? i mean there are plenty of tasks that need to be completed and plenty of people to "catch up" with, but does anything compare to the possibility of being selected to pedal "from sea to shining sea" in the name of habitat for humanity? i may be exaggerating the awesomeness of such a prospect (of course, there are better ways to spend one's time especially with regards to family and friends and lovers), which is why i need your help. this is the first official poll that i have ever posted on my blog (and believe me when i say that it is only the beginning) and i hope you will share your thoughts. so here it is?

should i spend the next 7.5 months fund raising/training (which includes collecting at least $4,000 and biking an average of 40-75 miles per week) and then an additional 2.5 months on the actual bike & build (assisting at various Habitat for Humanity sites) journey from providence to san francisco?

reply with a...

(1) if you think this is a great idea and should be pursued, if all other factors have been considered.

(2) if you think this is a good idea, but would encourage me to consider other options of achieving a similar experience without the physical, financial and emotional costs

(3) if you think this is not a good idea, but would suggest that i think and pray about this prospect a little bit more

(4) if you think this is a terrible idea and would suggest that i discontinue any/all preparations for this trip immediately

thanks everyone. for more information about this bike ride go to www.bikeandbuild.org

until next time, remember to wear your helmets and check your brakes...

unrecognizable

up and at 'em! one of the saddest things is when you realize that you no longer recognize something (or someone for that matter) that you once knew so well. i do not know if this is a phenomenon that you have ever experienced, but it is one that i am familiar with oh so well. in fact, just the other day i was driving along route 106 and discovered that a large section of vegetation had been wiped out, so that a local bank company could construct a castle-like structure as their headquarters. some of my favorite stores from when i was younger-- dorothy lou's bakery, roche bros., even my own neighborhood--appear foreign to me. granted i am getting older and my sight is not as stable as it once was; regardless, i have an issue with these childhood gems being plucked from my life. i want to experience all these wonders like i did when i was eleven and seven--except i can't! i must cope with the reality of this discovery and react accordingly. so far, my reaction has been one of grand disgust and abhorrence, but just like almost everything else, give it time and all will be well. i'm not sure if i will ever recover from my most recent findings, but one thing is for certain, "the more things change the more they stay the same" (i'm sorry but i cannot give credit to the author of those wise words, because i do not know his or her name and therefore must plead ignorance). it's good (no, it's great) to be blogging again...

n.b. today is 08.08.08 (i just love numbers)

boston your my home...

as relentless feelings of homesickness resurface and in the wake of the boston celtic's 17th nba championship, i am reminded of my roots. as much as i have fallen in love (and i have literally done that too ;) with the midwest, i will forever be indebted to new england. something about the rustic aroma, the way the breeze blows, and those family members & friends whom i hold dear to me makes massa"chu"setts (excuse you) like no other place on earth. now, of course, i have enjoyed venturing outside of the sheltered east coast and exploring new lands and cultures; however, as dorothy gale so graciously reminds us "there is no place like home." so for those who question whether i will ever come home, i hope that you know me better than that. peace be the journey...(home)

"May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!"
~ an old Irish blessing

school's out for the summah

to say the least, it has been a LONG year. with that being said, i have thoroughly enjoyed my stay here at Saint Martin de Porres high school. my students were difficult & disrespectful at times, entertaining & inspirational at other moments. some days were harder to arise from bed than others and some staff members i got along with better than others. as i sit at my desk on this humid friday afternoon in june on the last day of school, i sluggishly retrace my steps starting in early august/september. there were feelings of incompetence, uncertainty, serenity, and jubilation. there was frustration and tears and pain and sacrifice. i s t r e t c h e d myself to the max and i grew in humility & patience. i would never change this year (even if those changes would make the year less stressful), because the people that i have encountered have transformed me in ways that i never thought possible. thank you saint martin's and know that i am forever changed because of you. st. martin de porres pray for all of us.